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Over the weekend Suzy and I played in Kleinmond Golf Club’s annual Three Jacks and a Jill member’s competition. Suz calls Kleinmond her homeclub and the field is ridden with her family, literally salt-of-the-earth people. Upon arrival we’re met with a full parking lot, perfect spring weather, an older gentleman wearing a dress (fishnets full makeup and red hot nails inc.) , and a spread of sandwiches and vetkoek. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m a breakfast vetkoek guy but I ended up having three.  Pausing on the cross-dressing Scotsman, there was one too few Jills for the day and he was the lucky substitute. Three Jacks and a Jill has the field randomly seeded into 4 balls consisting of 3 men and a lady, playing a 4 ball alliance over 18 holes.

Kleinmond golf course is a great little gem about 100kms down the coast from Cape Town. It’s a 9 hole layout with 18 tee boxes. Nestled between dramatic mountains with pimp ocean views, the course is in about as good a condition as you can expect from a small town track. Greens are spongy, decent pace and the tee boxes are in great condition. The course gets loads of water running down from the mountains and on one fairway there’s even mountain water flowing from underground, a natural spring making the walk to the par 3’s green soggy. All the usual wildlife prowls the course, ducks, hadedas, kwikstertjies, laksmans and they have a very active mole community. The fairways are often slanted and firm. The first cut is sandy and pretty tough to play from, fat strikes become textbook short bunker shots. The course is carved into the lower slopes of the hills and features scenic walks in between the fynbos, now flowering aggressively. 

Part of the magic of golf is that it allows access to a grand public good - an immaculate garden, designed to be enjoyed by its users, maintained by people who love it. To not only enjoy nature, but specifically to experience nature that has been manipulated with skillful passion, is something that golf shares with few other pastimes. It’s pretty great and I wish for everyone to find something like it. 

10:00 AM shotgun start! (10:35ish really): The first hole is a blind par 3 with a sign reading “No practice swings on TEE”, the capitalization is what does it for me.  Our group all played from the the red tees, which was nice as men and women tee off in any order. I’ve often thought that golf is especially daunting for a new lades since they always tee off last and men usually start walking the moment they make contact. Halfway, players were greeted with worsbroodjies, shots, and 80s bangers. The lady braaing the wors right next to the 18th/9th green even offered me a cigarette. Friendly banter was shared and we laughed and cheered the day away. All the older members told stories about their kids living overseas. It sparks a sense of responsibility in me that seeks to support clubs like Kleinmond in any way I can. Someone will have to take the reins eventually and a good amount of the younger generation is simply not here. Anyway.

The prizegiving was everything you’d expect it to be. Loud cheering and prizes sponsored by local businesses - podium finishes getting meat packs, probably the best prize possible. 10/10 can recommend and looking forward to the next one.

I heard a great story from a member, Kleinmond used to be the course of choice for ex president Pik Botha and his boys. Years ago, when this member played in his very first Saturday morning competition, himself and a friend got completely stuck in the bar and by the time the afternoon field finished up they were sitting on the stoep, loudly commenting, cheering and booing everyone finishing up. Among those groups was Verwoerd with his friends and and army of caddies. They were hilariously not spared any inputs. The following Monday the new member received a stern phone call informing him that his behavior was woefully inappropriate and that it’s now a point of discussion and requires drastic change. 

Small town courses like Kleinmond need to be cherished. There’s a completely different feeling to many Cape Town courses- where the first word that describes members might be entitled.  The club is a true cornerstone of the community, filled with friendly people who helped the club grow into what it is today. There’s a palpable willingness to include anyone that takes the time.  Take the time and go immerse yourselves nou en dan.

Recap and Ramblings

We held our eyes glued to the weather report for the week leading up to the weekend. All the days around the Sunday were predicted to be pleasant, the Sunday was however not the same. The weather app merely showed a wind icon. Gusts were predicted of up to 40 MPH- not sure why my weather app is in Miles but here we are. Of the 20 players that signed up 3 fell out, all with legitimate reason. One dude got so frothy about the bokke winning that he ended up stepping in glass.

17 excited faces showed up early to King David Mowbray. KDM is my new home course, so ignore that potential bias and hear me when I say: this course is dope. Comparing it with my previous home base, Stellenbosch, it offers a very different challenge. The fairways are tight in landing areas, and there's an good amount of short par 4's that offer great risk/reward decisions on the tee. Incorrect misses get punished harshly and many green complexes are damn near impossible to stick from the wrong angles. I love a green that has a section that slopes away from you, immediately informing you your tee shot was indeed trash,  sometimes even convincing you to play for green-side bunkers.  Greens were rolling pure and I'm not sure about the stimp, but they are pretty much as fast as they can be while retaining playability in the angry Cape Town wind. That angry wind was in full force and a few shots on the range made it clear, it was going to be interesting. 

After shuffling some players around and unsuccessfully trying to convince various staff members that we should play as 5 balls, the day kicked off. A few 3 and 4 balls were sent into the Red Bull big air conditions by the strict (but fair) starter Allan. Shoutout Q for arriving late at the box after being at the course early. KDM also takes halfway orders on the first tee which is a nice touch.

It's awesome seeing the fairways around you full of familiar faces. Everyone there because they really wanted to be there. Not a single angry golfer in sight. You get to share little moments here and there which elevates the dynamic of the day. On the second hole for example Dirk was telling me how he hit Suz after an intended near-miss-practice-swing clipped the ball sending it 85 degrees to the right. Moments after hearing this and walking away from their group, we see Suz hilariously shanking a ball into Dirk's bag.

A group skins format game is a beautiful thing. It encourages players to do their utmost best on every single hole. Anyone can make an unlikely birdie (or par in these conditions) and end up getting some. You're never out of the game. We played with a 75% allowance in an attempt to prevent as many double strokes as possible. Inadvertent side effects include Gavin ending up as a +4 (LOL).  The conditions were treacherous, but we were in it together. Downwind greens were ridiculously impossible, into the wind you had some chance assuming very neutral spin was applied to the ball.  I'm always surprised with how much the wind affects me while putting, not necessarily the roll of the ball (although obviously that as well) but my stance and balance over the ball, it makes my already dodgy backstroke a real disaster. Also side note, I'm getting a haircut soon, these wavy sidies are incompatible with wind.

For someone who preaches about playing fast golf, I actually don't mind playing behind slow groups all that much. It removes the pressure. It gives the time to read putts from all angles and even mess around on the greens after everyone's in the hole.  That being said, we finished the round with decent pace and had an absolute blast.  Keep an eye on our IG page for from the event!

Prize giving:

• Individual Stableford Points Winner : Timmy - secured himself a sick pouch from Gems Golf Customs for his golf valuables(or whatever really). These pouches feature Callaway zips that I harvested from an early 2000s Big Bertha tour bag. The bag belonged to my girl's uncle's father's mistress's husband. Read it again, it makes sense. The outer layers are white nappa and the last of the remaining Tweed. 

• Closest to the Pin 13th:  Jandre -  epic unreleased Odd Ritual cap and voucher for their upcoming online store. Odd ritual are positioned to take the local golf scene by storm and I'm absolutely here for it, watch this space. I'm pretty sure Jandre was the only player out of 17 to hit the 120m green.

• Closest to the Pin 6th: Ewaldt's dad - also the only person to hit that green. He was however not able to attend prizegiving and was ruthlessly stripped of his prize. The prize then pivoted and was awarded for->

  • •  Longest Day: Suzy with a solid 12 points secured her a clean Callaway  cap from Fairways to Africa. Shoutout to Jehad who could unfortunately not join but said hello and delivered a prize on the practice green.

• Longest Drive: Gavin crushed in into the wind, MIDDLE fairway on the 4th to take it. Special mention for Shaun who allegedly came close to reaching Gav's drive. The prize was a glove from Hooked Golf, Durban based golf brand making waves with quality cabretta leather gloves.

• Getting paid to play: Shoutout Wunderpar for always delivering value for us simply doing what we love.
  
  

• Skins:

  • Kieron - 2 Skins and Gems Golf Bag Tag.

  • Tim - 1 Skin

  • Quinton - 1 Skin

  • Dillon - 1 Skin
    
    

Thanks to everyone who pulled in, can't wait for the next one!